Thursday, November 26, 2009
So i was sitting at daniris house while everyone was sleeping. and i just stood up sitting just thinkin staring at the clock. sounds weird? whatever. im thinking about the past year whats been going on. &+ i dead ass been a complete bitch when it comes to relationships. i just don't care about no ones feelings. i been hurt over &+ over again. so i do the same to others as others done to me. i just gave myself a reality check &+ i see the mistakes ive made. here i have the best boyfriend in the world &+ i legit take advantage of him. not intentionally i do it without noticing. small shit pushing him laughin when i see guys from my past. i put myself in his shoes &+ i dead ass dont know how he has the patience to look at me &+ still tells me he loves e to my face with a smile. i feel like complete shit about how i treat him &+ im soo soo sorry. never will i cheat on him. but it sees like the shit ive done is creeping up behind me &+ theres no way to change it. &+ after yesterday i feel like im losing him slowly &+ slowly &+ to be honest im terrified. i asked for a second chance &+ he opened himself up to trust me again &+ im abusing it. after yesterday hes the one who apologized but in all honesty its me who should be apologizing. for the way i treat him. he deserves the world and more definitely not how ive been treating him. he dunned everyone for me and i just took advantage.i love him soo soo much. ive lost him more than once. &+ its not a good feeling. i just feel like its going the same way again. =/ but as of today im changing just for him. the games are gonna stop &+ imma just do a coplete change becuase i dead ass dont wanna lose him. but thats only if it isnt too late.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
10.29.08
yesterday was legit the WORST day of my life. first my friend didnt give me my clothes that i left at his house &+ i didnt have any clothes becuase all my clothes are dirty becuase my washer machine is broken -__- then we get to 1&2nd period [blocked class] &+ this girl who i got a crush on was cursing me out becuase i accidently stepped on her r.o.t.c shoes. she was o.d callin me wreckless klutz a bitch madd shit. like wtf dude it was a fuckn accident ugh. then 3rd period when i walk in i say ms. im having a bad day dont test me today. she tells me to sit in a corner &+ dont talk so i was like whatever. [a couple of weeks wack this bitch gives me a pass to my locker to get my sweater &+ i come back &+ someone took my book. north high has a bunch of thieves] so anyways shes yelling at my where is my book in her tree language [shes african or something] &+ i told her &+ she remembers she made us work in groups &+ then she said something yelling at the class calling us stupid soo obv. knowing my self i flipped out. on this bitch. i was like dont fuckn insult my intelligence la la la. i was superr heated. &+ she told my friend oh control me LIKE IF I WAS SO KIND OF DOG. i was like do i fuckn barkk wtf? i flipppeddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd i blacked out yelling. &+ i accidently slipped out go back to africa.&+ i left chilled w. my principal becuase b4 anything she was my teacher for like 3 years. (: so then. i went to 4th &+ 5th everything was fine &+ so was 6-7 till i went to the bathroom &+ they called me down. like saying um fuckn SUSPENDED for 5 days for telling the bitch go back to africa. like wtf??????????? so i flipped out again saying i didnt say that shit. thats forced. ya know the good stuff. &+ i brought put a point that if they suspended me for saying something i didnt even say half of the school should be suspended for saying nigga. like wtf. its the same shit. just cornering me out. i fuckn hate that school. they cant prove it was me anyways. so yea &+ then my day was going okay better actually. i went to the greendale mall my with my friends priscilla &+ sara. (: got some applications &+ got this sexyy ass costume. i loook FIERCEEEEE. lol (: we decided to take picturesss in the photo booth &+ my day went horriblee againnnnnn becuase the machine ate my 3 dollars &+ never gave me my pictures becuase it fuckn didnt have ink. then i was soo pumped for the dance last night &+ i bought my friend darlanne a ticket &+ daniris was supposed to come &+ they both ditched me. great soo then i went with sara &+ nikan. idance was o.d wack waste of my 5 dollars. this year it was madd wack dead ass. i was getting it a couple of times though.(: but yes. i had to walk home &+ i stepped in fuckn dog shit. -_____- worst day of my life. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..
Sunday, October 25, 2009
ahh cassandra
well this girl. idk where to start. freshamn year? yea lets start there. lol.(: i was a new girl i didnt know abs. no one. until andrea carenzo started talking to me because i had a crush on tito garcia &+ she liked frankie peterson &+ we became friends on myspace &+ we became madd close. she always told me about her best friend cassandra [not best friends anymore]. i never knew who she was until they switched my classes to honors.&+ lucky me i got to sit next to her. we started talking &+ somehow i got closer to her than i ever was to andrea. she became my best friend. we argued like any other friendship but we were always tight. there was a point &+ time i trusted her with abs. EVERYTHING. she know everything she was like my other half pretty much. we were inseperable we chilled everyday day &+ night just having a blast. until summer 08 came. i honestly do not even rememeber what happened. drama started. found out some crap. she started talkin shit. there was a point &+ time i wanted to bash her face in. &+ till this day like a year &+ a half later we still hate eachother &+ when i see her in the halls we still basically push eachother out of the way. lol she still talks shit &+ i still flip her off. (: i dont like her. but honestly. one of these days. i needa thank her. becuase of her i found love(: lol corny i know but i did. im abs. happy that i found him &+ if she wasnt sucha hoe &+ whatnot i wouldve never met him &+ we still going strong a year &+ like 3 months later. (: so whereever you areeeee. i hope you read thiss &+ i thank youuuu (: &+ she might be madd im writing about her. but ehh i dont care. im grateful that you changed my life. (: thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
so i seen him today. &+ everything was just different. i left &+ the words that just stuck to me. "jenn..i just dont care anymore" like damn. i felt my world just collide right then &+ there. like how can i respond to that i didnt do nothing but walk away. ugh. what i learned from this is not to wear my emotions on my sleeve. i cried im not gonan lie. but am i gonna stay stuck on him for ever? no. just like my bestie jeff always said nothings ever impossible. so i know for a fact that it isnt impossible to fall in lvoe again to find someone whose actually down for me when i fuck up he' there to call me out on it. that he actually give me a second chance when i admit im wrong. someone who'll ALWAYS be there when shit gets hard &+ is there to help me get back on my feet. someone who i know i can depend on not someone who appears in &+ out of my life. i wasted dead ass. WASTED a year of mmy life with him. &+ im not planning to waste another year or maybe more crying over him. imma do me. something that i shouldve realized &+ done now that i look back &+ see the mistake i made of even meeting you. let alone actually giving my heart &+ gave my all to something to someone who isnt even nothing anymore. just ike he told me he didnt care. is just like i threw my heart out. i have no hate towards him. nor any love to be honest. if i were to never talk to him again. i would actually be okay with it. its nothing against him in all honesty. becuase i did fuck up. but was it that serious to just end shit forever just like that? after all we been thru? like he just let everything go. but its fine. i guess this blog is more like a good bye. rather than my expressing my feelings. bottom line? im just heartless i dont give a fuck. never will give a fuck. and hes just not worth it anymore.and the guy i fell for was definetly not the guy that looked in my eyes &+ told me that today.im moving on. &+ never will i look back again. &+ dat all. (:
Saturday, October 10, 2009
holy crap ! how long has it been since i blogged.? fuck.? lol i totally abonded this bloog. no fear i am here again &+ shall be bloggin more often (: . hmmph. where to start. oh ! lets start with school. &+ the fact that i have to start an extra semester for one fuckn credit !! ONE! f.m.l -__- lol but my schedules soo packed &+ i get shitloads of homework EVERYday i have two math classes algebra 1 &+ geometry. &+ two sciences. biology 1 &+ 2. &+ my two math cclasses are YEAR long! f.m.l lol. but suprissingly im doing abs. BOMB. progress report lowest grade 92 WHA WHA!? lol (: but lifes going pretty bomb right now. im labeled as a junior but its okay. might as well do my junior year all over again &+ do it right &+ get everything done. like psats. mcas.go on gear up trips to colleges. look at scholarships. becuase since im repeating junior year again &+ im doing abs. BOMB colleeges gonna see my transcript &+ ill get accepted to a good college instaed of quinsig. which seems to be everyones option. i really dont wanna go to a community college. but yes. ahh school (: gotta love it.
