catchin up.

mann i havent been blogggin for a while soo lemme start catching up with my life
-me &+ "smiley" broke up =/ tear tear
-i finally got with the kid ive been talking to for a year
-regreted it &+ broke up with him beuase i misss "smiley" =/
-school started &+ im doing wicked bomb in ALLL my classes.
-liquor bud &+ guys DO NOT MIX !
lets start with the shocking fact that i doned of the guy "i love" for someone who i like . i mean i start to question if i really "love" him hmmph. i mean when you're in love dont you feel like a new person or some shit like that. or so i've heard. i felt like that in the begining. did i get tired of waiting.? i mean we've been talkin for a year &+ shit &+ now on 090209 he makes it official. no difference what so ever.i hadda break it off. becuase i felt something missing. there was a point &+ time where i was sooo confused as too which one i can see myself with. becuase all i want is someone who is down for me. a real serious relationship. &+ i saw myself with both. obv. i cant have both. with "rapper" like yea i have love for him but its not the same anymore. shits changed. imma always have love for him i mean he was my first ! there was a point &+ time where he was my EVERYTHING ! but i slowly been distancing myself away from him. &+ idkk i just dont see myself with him now. &+ "smiley". idkk its something about him (: his smile when we talk idk when im with him my heart races. i see him from far &+ i actually get butterflies ! like i feel like a little kid just talking about him like this. its a kindergarten crush i guess. lol. at the end i just wanna be with one. but idk whats good with me &+ him. =/ so im not stressin it.but i do wanna be with him believe it or not. school ! doing extra bomb like i feel im gonna make the honor roll this yearr yesss (: maybe repeating junior year again isnt gonna be so bad after all. i mean since im repeating might as well dooo bomb becuase junior year is the most important year in high school the year where all colleges look at. &+ if they see my improvement deff getting a scholarship in a heart beat. becuase no doubt im smart as hell i just needa extra push &+ stop being soo damn lazy lol. but this year im different. i have no classes with none of my friends soo im good. imma pass for sure (: . &+ ohh mann this weekend was INSANE. lets say some people &+ liquor. no no no . so many regretful things happened that night. none to be talked about becuase it had nothing to do with me. i helped my friends as much as i could but some things were just outta my reach. =/ i mean come onn i hadda drag her all around she did NOT wanna get UP ! i called everyone to help i couldnt do it alone! but at the end you realize whose really down for you when your drunk no doubt. butt yess thats it for now. (: